This is a very old Insanity Please text story! I would have written it when I was 16, in 2000 - 2001. It has all the, er, "quality" that implies. It covers the first 55 strips of the webcomic... and also has "rather a bit" of influence from Star Wars!* I've tidied it up a bit to make it a tad more readable (and formatted the page to match the rest of the site), but otherwise it's as it was.

*-I remember reading a different series of FF6 Fanfics back then, which were basically just the story of Star Wars crammed into FF6. I ought to try and re-find that!

This is my very first fanfic! (2025note: No it wasn't! I remember writing one that was set in MST3K, and one that blatantly ripped-off Star Wars Episode 1, with South Park elements) - it is based on my 'insanity please' comic strip; which is a crossover of FF6 and FF7 - it's set in the world of 7,with the towns from 6 added in. The good guys (Returners) are the cool good guys from both games - and the evil geezers (the Shinra) are the evil geezers from both games (but not Sephiroth - he just trashed 7's story, when it could have been a very good revolutionary story!)

INSANITY!

Even from 100 meters away, the explosion was so violent that most of the shinra resarch team blacked out. When the survivors came round, they found a scene of devastation - most people where dead or wounded,the huge gate to the esper world sat inert. The scientist, Hojo, seemed perfectly OK, and was looking around the blast zone together with 3 other survivors - most of the espers, who had been knocked out, were being hauled aboard lorries and driven away. Hojo was looking at a huge, man-shaped beast with wings on its back. Then, he heard a groan coming from nearby. The young scientist investigated, and found a human woman, with a baby.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Please,look after my baby, her name is Terra" she gasped, "but... she isn't normal... she was created by Maudin over there" she was pointing to the huge winged man.

"Amazing!... Not quite human - but she must have the powers... This is incredible... But nobody must know!"

Hojo picked up the baby, wrapped in a bit of cloth.

"Thank you" the woman said. Hojo asked her name,then pulled out his sidearm and fired.

*     *     *

Bill and Mark, two other survivors, were sitting in a truck, travelling back to base. They had been given a special cargo; a cryogeniclly frozen, or as Hojo called it, 'stored' baby. They both knew that she was special in some way... Well, they could tell that by hojo muttering something about a "master race"...

*     *     *

Terra was sitting in her cell in Vector, the Shinra's giant seaside city. She had been living in the cell for as long as she could remember. Hojo, a man who she knew she should hate - sometimes forced her to stand in glass tubes,and have strange liquids injected into her. Around the side of the room where she was experimented on there were other glass tubes, containing giant monsters. Terra thought they looked scary, but for some reason, she felt no fear when looking at them. They seemed more like family, in some strange way. Most of the monsters didn't do anything, but she could tell, by their changed postions, that some had also been experimented on, then put back.

There where footsteps outside the cell. A soldier opened the door and looked at her, or, at least, pointed his head in her direction. Shinra soldiers wore face-obscuring helmets, with three triangular lenses in the visor, connected to miniature screens inside. You could never tell exactly where they were looking.

"You terra?" he asked.

She nodded weakly; not being given much food or drink. The soldier dragged her out and down the corridor. They went into a different room this time, it had a high ceiling with a giant device above a chair in the centre. Terra was sat on the chair and strapped down. She heard a speaker crackle into life behind her.

"OK Terra, this won't hurt a bit" said a voice she recognied as Hojo.

Another voice started to ask "are you sure this uraninium stuff is safe?"

Terra didn't know what 'Uranium' meant. The tone of the questioner's voice didn't bode well... but what could she do about it?

"Look, nobody's complained about it, have they?" replied Hojo.

The device above terra made an omunous clunk-and everything went black.

*     *     *

Sergeant Wedge antillies hated his job. He and corporal Vicks had been ordered to go to some town called Narshe, out in the sticks, and bring back this frozen wasp or something. For some stupid reason, a teenage female slave by the name of Terra, at least thats what was stamped on her slave crown, was coming along with them. The techs had already programmed her to drive a magitek - and to follow Wedge's orders - but he still didnt have a clue why she was needed.

"They've probably stuck something else in her head... like knowledge of what we're actually gonna find" he thought. "Probably the most likley idea, she knows the secrets, us plebs do our jobs - and if something goes wrong, who's she gonna tell?"

The three walked into the magitek hangar. It was a collossal room, about 400 metres wide and 100 long. The celing was high up, and had a spider-web of girders and pipes obscuring it. An officer waved them over to a screen on the wall

"OK soldiers, your objective is this town" he began to say, the screen showed a snow-covered hamlet with cliffs behind it, then zoomed-in to a blurry cave entrance. "Your objective is in this cave" the lieutenant continued.

Then the girl suddenly piped up, over the noise of the machenery, "Narshe is over the sea,dumbass" she remarked.

Wedge glared over. Evidently the techs had programmed in an arsehole mode while they were at it. The sergeant sighed and flipped her off switch, she'd just obey orders dumbly now.

The Lieutenant snapped "You'll go on a boat first, alright?", waited, then said "OK,no further questions? - dismissed".

Wedge walked over to his magitek robot and got in. He turned the key, starting the huge diesel engine. The control panel lit up, and various monitors sprang into life - ignition, weapons, sheilding, fuel - all looked normal. The huge doors at the end of the hangar opend and he began moving forwards,as did the other two,they started to go down to the docks via a back road - where a ship waited to take them to the northern continent.

*     *     *

Wedge looked through his binoculars at the town of Narshe,it looked like a few locals where standing there with guns.

"Damn,I knew this was dodgy" he remarked,then switched on his radio.

"OK - Vicks,Terra - attack pattern delta, use your fire beams and machine guns - and be careful your sheild isnt breached in this cold!"

"Roger" Vicks said, moving into postition, Terra silentley obeyed; her slave crown not letting her question anything. Wedge armed his machine guns and shouted "charge!"

The three magiteks ran forwards in a delta formation, firing at the enemy. Wedge blasted one guy with a fireball, knocking him flying. A few bullets bouced off his magical sheild, but it held. A burst of machine gun fire from Terra slew the attacker.

Most of the resistance ran, a few jumped up with swords and attacked the Magitek's sheilding, but a swipe from the claws saw them off. Terra stood up in her magitek and cast a spell from some materia. An enemy soldier erupted in flames, then fell dead - without a single burn mark on him.

"Dunno why she bothered" wedge said "Magitek weapons mean you dont have to use your own magic power!"

"Must be a traditionalist" Vicks replied.

The Magiteks walked into the caves, and busted down a creaky wooden door with 'du not entar' written on it. The three soldiers walked further, eventually entering a huge cavern, with an outcropping of rock jutting out above a vast, mirror-smooth lake. On the outcropping stood a huge block of crystal-clear ice, with a monster encased within.

Wedge was surprised to find that thier frozen 'wasp' was actually about 4 meters tall.

"Ahh great,they forgot to mention it's a GIANT frozen wasp!" moaned vicks.

Suddenly,the huge block of ice began glowing - wedge felt like he was burning, yet cold at the same time. He managed a quick glance at Terra, who appeared to be unaffected. Then he noticed she was talking... the slave crown was supposed to shut her up, but some incredible magical force had overidden it. Was she talking to the wasp - aside from glowing, it was still inert within the ice. These were Wedge's last thoughts, the next moment, everything went black, as he was blinked out of existence.

*     *     *

Terra was drifting in a huge, blue-green cloud.It appeard to be made of pure energy. She didn't know what it was, one moment she was in the shiny room, the next... here! She looked down,if it was 'down' in the normal sense, to see she was now older, and wearing differnt clothes, including some sort of metal hat. She knew that a lot of time had gone missing, but didn't know why. Somehow she knew she was now 18 years old... 10 whole years missing! Before she could think any more about it, an unearthy voice began talking.

"Terra...The Shinra are the enemy...they are killing the planet...go...avenge the espers, protectors of the planet!".

For the second time, in ten years, but also, from Terra's point of view, about five minutes, everything went black...

*     *     *

Locke cole and a friend were following the magitek's route down into the caves. Locke had point, cautiously pushing his aging rife ahead of him. He rounded a corner to see one magitek armor standing with its back to him. He raised his rifle at the driver's head and pulled the trigger, hearing only a click

"Damn!" he cursed, pulled back the bolt and aimed again... Then he noticed the driver hadn't moved, and that the magitek's engine was not running. His friend, Squall came up behind.

"What are you waiting for? Take the dickhead out already" he whispered

Locke looked back "Hold on, I'm gonna check this out!" he replied.

Moving over to the the huge vehicle, he raised his gun at the driver's slumped head, which was clad in a strange metal helmet.

"OK,give it up!" he said. When no response came, he lifted up the driver's head with the gun barrel.

"Hey! Its a girl!" he said.

Squall came closer "Thought shinra were sexist?" he mumbled back, "Why'd they let a woman join their military?"

Squall looked closer "Wait, that's a slave crown! She's not a soldier, just an innocent victim!" he said

Locke started to climb up to the cockpit. "Well, lets un-victimise her, before the other two come nosing around..." he started to say.

The two lifted the girl down and ran off.

*     *     *

Back home, Squall noticed a strange sign on the slave crown, like three triangles pointing into a small circle, He immediatley backed off.

"What?" asked Locke.

"Radiation!"Squall said "This crown is at least 10 years old! She should be dead!"

"Is it safe for us, though?" Locke wondered aloud.

Squall had already started prising the slave crown off the girl's head. Then they noticed that the girl's hair was green!

"This is wierd" squall remarked. "It looks like her hair has absorbed the radiation. It's gonna be green for the rest of her life!"

*     *     *

Terra woke up. Something felt strange... soft. She'd never had proper bedding before. Something else was missing.

"My hat!" she thought. "Damn,that was one wierd dream... wait,it was real? What's happened to my life? What's happened to...?"

"Ah! You're awake!" said a voice. Terra looked round to see a young man with light brown hair, a blue bandana and denim jacket, with a white vest under it.

"My name is Locke Cole, do you know what yours is?" he asked.

"Terra" she absent-mindedley replied.

"hmm, you're recovering fast... most victims can't remember anything about themselves for weeks!" Locke replied.

"Victims? Of what?" Terra asked.

Locke held up the metal hat, which now looked rather damaged; panels had been prised open, exposing circuits and machinery within. "The goverment of the world, The Shinra, have been... controlling you, using this slave crown device" he started to say.

Terra was thinking "Hmm, Shinra,they made me go in that jail cell, and...they're destroying the world!"

Terra again started talking. She realised she had strange memories - memories of learning things, but not really of being taught them. "What else can that slave crown do?" she asked.

Locke hesitated,then said "Well... err... green hair can look cool..."

*     *     *

Terra and Locke were travelling to a place called Figaro Castle, so that Terra could join something called 'The Returners'. This was a resistance movement against Shinra, which Locke was already a member of. At the moment their car was parked inside a train, travelling through a long tunnel under the sea. Once this arrived, they needed to drive south through some deserts, It was starting to get dark, by the time they reached the edge of the desert. They stopped at a cheap motel, called the "Pr_fab Par_dise _otel"

"Well" said Terra, "They won't look for us here!"

They went thier 'premium' room, which was decorated in a very dated, cheap and nasty fashion. It was premium because it had a view looking out towards a giant, 1000 meter tall 'spike' in the distance. This had some giant pods on its sides, held up by huge supports. A giant sign above it said "Gold saucer"

"What the hell is that?" Terra wondered aloud.

"That's just an overdone amusement park" said Locke "Very shinra controlled!" he added.

With a dangerously-wobbling ceiling fan doing little to disperse the desert heat, the pair went to sleep.

*     *     *

The next day, Terra was watching the Shinra News. The announcer was going on about evil Returners, and another train crash, the tone of her voice suggesting such things were becoming almost routine. No need to provide a safe service, when one has a monopoly!

Terra was pondering if the shinra would ever try to find her. She was obviously important to them, somehow...

Suddenly, something shot through the window and smashed into the TV. A missile - unexploded, but hissing menacingly!

Terra mumbled "That would be a yes, then" as she ran towards the door.

It opened before she got there. A Shinra soldier started to say "Fre-".

The missile exploded, blasting Terra and the soldier out of the room. Terra picked herself up, and saw the soldier was dead from a bit of glass sticking in this neck. Miraculously, she was unhurt. Picking up his gun, she returned to the room, discovering the explosion had blown a huge hole in the flimsy walls. Outside a Shinra helicopter was hovering.

"Did we get 'em?" the copilot asked, accidentally speaking through external loudspeakers, as well as to the pilot.

Terra jumped from the smoking hole, blasting at the helicopter, and taking the crew completely by surprise. They started to fire back with machine guns, blowing hundreds of holes in the walls of the hotel. Terra fired again, diving to one side.

The helicopter pilot made a slightly unhealthy sound though the loudspeakers, before the machine dropped to the car park. Locke came out of his room just in time to see it impact on his car. The explosion shook the ground and a wave of heat rushed over the building, shattering all the windows that had survived the chaos so far.

Locke felt a jolt, and looked down to see a bit of glass embedded in his leg. Now he'd seen it, it started to hurt, and he dropped to the ground, gasping with pain. Terra started to help him to walk to the rear of the building, where they found a three-wheeled truck that seemed undamaged. Terra helped Locke into the cab, then got into the driver's seat. Somehow, she knew how to drive. There was no time to wonder why or how now; they just had to get to that castle, and some medical help...

*     *     *

At the shinra headquarters in Midgar; capital city of the world, an important meeting was taking place. One of thier most important biological experiments, 225, had escaped!

"So,they evaded our patrols" asked President Shinra.

A minister by the name of Palmer nodded in the affirmative. He was part of the science ministry, and greatly interested in 225.

The Presidents son; Rufus, spoke up. "Well, we know that the man helping her is from Narshe! We have been meaning to close down the coal mines there for some time - I propose we move now, make an example of that town, show the others what it means to defy us!"

"Agreed" replied the President.

"Ahh-narshe!" said the only woman in the room, Scarlet. She was one of very few women to reach a high position in the Shinra government, which usually maintained that women should stay at home, chained to the kitchen. "Theres a gay bar in that town..." she went on "Last night, I dreamed about a lesbian pursuing me... That tells me all I need to know about homosexuality; that it should be regarded as evil and banned from public life!"

"Agreed!" said the President.

"I propose we call the anti-homosexual law 'Order 28'" Scarlet added.

"Now,we have to get back 225! It's very likely they are heading to Figaro" said Rufus. "We have long suspected King Edgar isn't as loyal to us as he says... and we allow that kingdom far too much freedom anyway - they have plenty of gay bars there, too!"

"Yes" said the President. "I think it's time they were reined in - put Admiral Kefka on it, we know of his... talents... for suppressing hostile populations."

*     *     *

Terra could see Figaro Castle in the distance. They had discovered some medical supplies in the truck, and Locke's wound was already on the mend. As they pulled up outside the castle, Locke jumped out and hobbled over, meeting a man wearing a loose-fitting desert outfit in blue and green, with all sorts of gold and silver filligree woven in. He very long, blonde hair tied in a ponytail. Terra just caught Locke calling him Edgar.

"Well,he seems nice enough" she thought, as she got out of the truck and looked up at the castle.

It was built out of concrete, rather than stone, and had various air-vents and other modern machinery sticking out. The towers where all humming, like they had fans or something on top. Terra also noticed that there was sand piled up all round it's edges, which looked recently-moved.

"Who are you?" Edgar was asking.

"Terra" she replied, there was a short silence, then Terra shouted "Yer supposed to ask about the HAIR!".

But the other two were already walking into the castle. She followed, through the entrance and into the central courtyard. By the look of it, it had a retractible metal roof, for some reason. In the middle there where floodlights, a helipad and radar dishes,and around the edges of the walls. there were also anti-aircraft guns and boxy missile launchers on gimbals, along with other high-tech stuff.

"Isnt it great?" Edgar was saying. "This is the most high-tech castle there is, with lasers, radars, satellite uplinks... pluuus a few other suprises! Oh,and there's satellite TV as well, that's the main thing!"

*     *     *

Terra and Locke had been at the castle for a week now, and found it pretty boring, apart from listening to punk and watching sex 'n' death shows on satellite telly. Then one day, Edgar said that there was "trouble".

Edgar walked outside to see three magitek armours. One was in a different colour scheme, and driven by a black-haired man who had several robotic implants in him - the legacy of a life of violence, both given and received.

"Kefka... I might've known it would be you!" Edgar shouted up at him.

"I am not here for negotiation" kefka shouted back. "You have Terra! We want her back!"

"I've never seen any Terra!" Edgar yelled back. Unfortunately, Terra chose this exact moment to walk out next to him and ask what was going on.

"Coulda chose a better time" Edgar grumbled, pulling her back into the castle, and slamming down the heavily-armoured front door.

"That's it!" Kefka said into the radio "Cook em!"

The magitek armours started shooting fire, bolt and ice beams at the castle walls, the magic-enhanced lasers making burn marks and small craters. The castle's own lasers and machine guns tried to return fire, but the magitek's ability to cast barrier automatically meant that the weak, anti-personnel weapons had little effect. Inside, Edgar calmly walked over to a lever and pulled it, Terra noticed the castle shaking. Outside, a huge dust cloud rose up - to Kefka it looked like the castle was collapsing.

"Well, I hope they don't want her alive too badly" he shouted to his second-in-command.

When the dust cleared something strange had happened - the castle had vanished! It had tunnelled underground and shoved the sand back behind itself, leaving a shallow crater, but no wreckage.

"Shit" kefka muttered.

*     *     *

"OK, now it's underground... what do we do?" Terra asked Edgar. She wasn't too impressed with the idea of being buried alive, just so the Shinra could kill them later.

"Don't worry,we can still escape..." Edgar pressed a button,opening up the door to a huge room.

This was one of several supply caches he had hidden in the desert, the castle could tunnel underground and "dock" with them. Inside the room was a huge jet plane, pointing almost vetically upwards on a ramp, and with huge machines behind it.

"Ever seen one of these before?" Edgar asked.

"Its a Concorde" said Terra, she had discoved that she had basic knowledge of most shinra-made devices. "The biggest plane that can break the sound barrier, and recognised by many of one of the greatest acheviements of humanity!

"And also, only one has crashed in 30 years, but those... fascists wanna ban it, when other sorts of planes drop like anything!" added Edgar. "Well - get in... we're escaping!"

*     *     *

Inside the plane, Edgar hit a button. The room shuddered and vibrated, then the huge roof split apart. The room was a giant machine in it's own right, and had tunnelled up almost to the surface of the desert. A little sand fell down through the giant hatch.

"Here we go" said Edgar, before pusing a big, red button. The engines of the Concorde fired up and rapidly ramped up to full power, the plane juddering and shaking on the ramp.

Suddenly, the machines behind the plane made a huge BOOM and jets of steam forced the Concorde forwards, and the occupants into their seats. Jet-Assisted Takeoff (JATO) bottles mounted to the rear of the wings forced the mighty plane into the sky. It's howling engines caught the air and it shot up like a bullet. Computer control levelled the plane out at 5 miles high, as those inside finally recovered from the almighty G-forces.

"Never knew that was possible" Terra said.

"That's the first time I've tried it! Kinda glad it worked out, to tell the truth, there's plenty of fuel aboard!" was Edgar's reply.

All Terra could do was stare ahead, her green eyes wide with fright.

*     *     *

They had been flying for 2 hours now, keeping under 600 mph, so as not to attract attention. They didnt even notice the Shinra fighter jet screaming at them, until it was too late...

With the tail fin blasted away, the Concorde dropped down towards some forests.

"Ooooooh shit" locke was able to say before they hit, scraping a long path through the trees, sending wildlife running away and starting several small fires. The massive plane suddenly hit a large rock outcropping, jolting to a stop. Terra was thrown forward, and had a vision of the front window popping from it's frame, before everything went black.

When she woke up,she found that it was about 10 minutes later. The plane was a shredded wreck, and little fires where smouldering out in damp undegrowth. She had been lucky to survive, but had the others? Suddenley,there was a voice behind her/

"That was a good plane you just wrecked"

Terra turned round to see an oldish man with long, grey hair, wearing a worn-looking 'bomber' jacket and black jeans. His face was lined, but handsome, and he looked surprised as she emerged from the bushes which had broken her fall.

"Who are you?" she started asking.

"Setzer - and you are?"

"Terra" she said back. "Where are the other two?"

"They're knocked out, but perfectly fine. You lot were lucky, if the front of that plane dug in any more, you'd be dead!"

With that comforting thought in mind, they both walked out of the woods to Setzer's truck. Edgar and Locke were laying inert in the back, blood running from several small wounds. Terra got in with them while Setzer started driving.

*     *     *

About an hour later, they where arriving at the huge western metropolis of Wutai. Locke and Edgar, with help from a cure materia, had come around in time to see the plane explode in the distance. Setzer parked the truck in the long-term-stay car park, outside the huge Wutai airport.

"This way" he said, leading them into a side entrance.

"You coming with us?" terra asked.

"Course, I'm the pilot!" he answered, showing them his huge airship. It looked like an ordinary airship, only with an intricate metal frame, and huge jet-like turbines on either side. At the top there was an anarchy sign on the giant tail fin.

"This is amazing!" Terra was saying, before noticing that the rest had already got into the gondola.

Setzer went up to the controls on deck, and began running through pre-flight checks and clearances... making no mention of passengers! There were twin-barreld gun turrets at the head and stern that terra noticed, On the contols were several other weapon buttons like 'laser' and 'missile'. Setzer started up both turbines, which began warming up with the characteristic whine. It soon turned into a roaring noise, and the vessel lifted gracefully into the air.

*     *     *

"Coming over Vector now" said setzer.

Terra looked down at the huge metal city. First came 'the old town', Junon. most of this was suspended in the air, clinging to a sheer cliffside, with a massive cannon pointing out over the sea. This was followed by miles and miles of industrial plants, military equipment factories and dormitory housing for millions of workers. Terra knew it well, but had no knowledge of ever being there.

"That's the Magitek research facility", Setzer contiued, pointing to a huge metal tower. The building looked ugly and sinister even among the rest of Vector - it had almost no windows, it's steeply-sloping sides only broken by a few large balconies at regular intervals. These were helipads, connected to loading docks. 'Samples' from anywhere in the world could be flown directly into laboratories there.

"Loads of wierd stuff goes on in that place... And thats one of the experimental power plants" Setzer was pointing now to a smaller tower, still made out of featureless dark metal.

"And that...oh shiiiit!".

An explosion rocked the airship and shrapnel flew past Terra, she saw a Shinra helicopter swoop below them and loop around. It started firing with twin machine guns, a steel hailstorm ripped up bits of the deck. Locke hastily cast a protective spell that steered bullets around the occupants... for a few vital seconds, anyway.

"This is getting too much!" Terra shouted, grabbing a gun and returning fire. The helicopter started shooting at the airship's balloon, but couldn't get through the special armour. Terra fired again,and was rewarded with one of the air intakes on the chopper exploding. A lucky shot had pinged inside and hit one of the turbine blades, which snapped off but wasn't going to stop. Hot shrapnel tore off more turbine blades and ruptured a fuel line - fuel tanks and missiles all detonated at once, in a titanic blast.

the force of the blast rocked the airship. Terra tried to grab at a metal support, but wasn't able, plunging right out of the airship. The experimental power plant Setzer had pointed out was racing to meet her!

With a slave-crown enhanced presence of mind. Terra hastily cast a barrier spell ahead of herself, while using a 'gravity' materia for protection. She slammed into a balcony on one of the upper floors of the power plant. The impact should have splattered her into a million pieces, but with her hastily-improvised magical protections, she was merely winded

Some soldiers approached "Looks like she fell out, they'll probably land over the other side of the mountains and try to rescue her" one said.

"Ere, go get the sarge, he'll wanna look at this" said the other.

Terra was reaching out for the gun, which had fortunately fallen nearby. A quick look showed her that they where both looking away, it was now or never! She sprang to her feet and opened fire, the two soldiers dropping to the metal floor. Then she ran into a corridoor, suprising most of the gaurds there with a hail of 9mm. More enemies appeared as she jumped into a side room, hitting another guy with the back of the gun.

She looked up at a huge machine, something told her this was called a Mako Reactor - and that it was one of the machines Shinra was killing the planet with! She tried shooting it, and it began to make a loud groaning noise. Alarms started ringing, and a lot of the guards who had been cautiously coming into the room to look for her suddenly dashed for the nearest exits.

Terra looked out to see the hall was empty, and ran across into a room with a large water tank. She took a lift down and jumped in, swimming along a pipe to another room,this had dirt down the walls and was quite dark,terra went out into another hall, dodging bullets from a few more gaurds. Rolling across the floor, she fired at one, causing him to twist around. His death agonies squeezed the trigger of his machine gun, filling the corridor with lead as Terra darted behind a steel pillar.

After a little more shooting, she dashed past the dead and wounded to a small, cramped lift. This apparently led to an emergency basement exit, Terra hit the button and waited as it began it's painfully-slow descent.

Suddenly there was a huge roar as part of the building above exploded. The lights flickered but the lift still had power. It eventually stopped, and the door opened to some very dark and small tunnels. Air was blowing gently down them, like they where a ventilation system or something. Terra walked down a few of them, seeing a giant fan that had fallen off the ceiling, damaging the walls as it had fallen.

"Hope that was expensive" she said to herself as she opened up a door leading to some girders and pipes. It wasnt too far to the ground, so she went down and started walking to some hills in the distance. Looking back at the city, she could see the experimental power plant was blown open at the top like a huge Roman Candle, with flames and sparks spouting high into the sky. She started walking faster, knowing Shinra would be really looking for her now!

*     *     *

Setzer was waiting outside his airship. The two returners had made him land and wait for the green-haired girl. He didnt want to, but then again, if he didnt want to be here he shouldn't have given them a lift.

"Took that bet wrong, didn't ya" he said to himself, grinding out the seventh fag that day with his boot.

He heard a noise in the forest, like an explosion, then silence.

"Wonder what that was?" Edgar was saying up on the deck.

Setzer heard another, closer sound. He pulled out a gun and got down behind some bushes. Somebody was coming out of the forest. He looked up, to see Terra emerge from the trees.

"What do ya know" she started "Those soldiers where right!"

Setzer stood up, "It's the guvna!" he shouted, to let Locke and Edgar know Terra was back. Now he was thinking he should have made a bet with them that she'd turn up.

"I just had to sort out a magitek armour heading towards you, luckily he didn't have his barrier up!" Terra said, as she clambered back inside the airship. Up on deck, Setzer took his place at the controls and they set off again.

*     *     *

At a secret Shinra base, in a remote canyon near a hydroelectric plant, an important meeting was taking place.

"So, 255 was responsible for the raid on our reactor! I thought she was dead!" Rufus Shinra was saying. His elderly father probably didn't have long to live, and Rufus would soon inherit a position of absolute dictatorship over most of the world. He was acting like it was his already.

"Yes" Kefka replied. "We have CCTV footage that proves it, she shot at the reactor assembly, breaching the KN systems, before escaping into the ventilation shafts, killing or wounding 14 soldiers during her escape. The resulting explosion wrote off the facilty, and caused another 22 deaths in the streets around the area."

"Excellent, these deaths will generate more propaganda for us! - Get the news media to blame the explosion on Doman saboteurs, we've almost won the war, but a little more support won't hurt!" Rufus replied. Talk of the war against Doma - the last independent kingdom in the world, but soon to be under Shinra control, reminded him of something else. "What of the general that tried to defect?"

"Ahh, her, we have placed a manipulator unit on her, but she is holding out well. I don't think we can get anything from her" Kefka replied. He had been at this general's side when the war began, and it was he who had reported her for treason.

"Grahh!" Rufus was angered. He wanted a nice juicy confession to broadcast before she was executed. That the only female general in the military had comitted treason would also be a good excuse for more sexist policies, down the line.

"However..." Kefka continued "There may be another way - she doesn't care what we do to her, but what about her family and friends?"

"What do you have in mind?" Rufus asked

"Maybe we should 'test' our new missiles... on her hometown, Mobliz!"

"Of course!" said Rufus "I never liked that place, anyway"

"I'll get on it, sirs" said a techincal officer, who have a crisp salute and left the room.

*     *     *

Relm walked through the streets of her home town, Mobliz, to the seafront. School was closed, and she was meeting her friend Annie.

"Nice day today" Annie commented as Relm approached.

"Mm" Relm murmerd back. "So...what do ya wanna do?" she asked.

"Ahh,dunno" Annie replied.

There was a slight glint of light in the distance, out over the sea.

"What's that?" asked Relm. "Looks like a plane... or a rocket?" she started to say. The projectile went overhead, so low to the ground they could make out safety warnings stencilled on panels.

Relm looked down the street as a whistling sound grew louder. Suddenley, there was a huge flash and a loud roar. A huge fireball was rising up. Winds faster than a hurricane knocked Relm to the ground. Annie's scream of terror was abruptly silenced. Bits of glass and bricks flew past. the entire area was lit up by a bright orange light as the fireball rose into the air. Relm tried to clamber up, but the wind caught her and hurled her out, into the sea. The last thing she saw before she went under was a vast cloud of smoke from the blast - green smoke!

*     *     *

The airship had been flying for a whole day without having to land. Setzer was alone on the deck while the rest were below. He noticed a blip on the radar, then the radio crackled into life.

Attention airship K-112, you will land at the destination we give you and be boarded, any deviation will be considered hostile!"

A shinra jet plane, a fighter, flew under the airship and began sending out a signal. Setzer locked the auto-pilot onto it, then went below.

"We're gonna have to land in a Shinra area, you lot better hide!" he said. He had a suspicion they'd put two and two together with the exploding helicopter and escaping Terra.

"Right" Edgar said simply,picking up his crossbow.

"Yeah" Terra agreed, picking up a sword. If the two weren't founding hiding aboard, so much the better... but if they were...

*     *     *

"I'm telling you officer" Setzer was explaining to a soldier "Ive never seen any Terra!"

"Sure, sunshine" the officer said back, as Terra jumped down and stabbed him in the back of the head.

"Shoulda been wearing your helmet" she said as he fell.

Edgar dragged another dead soldier in, an arrow right between his eyes.

"H'kay, now we've got two dead soldiers and two clean uniforms" Setzer muttered.

"Well,we cant leave the base till they point the gun turrets away from us, and I've got an idea..." locke said

"I was afraid of that!" Terra remarked, looking down a gun barrel as Locke, now in Shinra uniform, pretended to take her prisoner.

*     *     *

Terra walked out across the landing pad, flanked by two soldiers. A technician came up to them to ask a question, the soldier on terra's left barked "Keep that airship there, we're gonna question the pilot later!"

They walked through a door and followed the signs for the prison. Taking an elevator down, they ended up in a cramped room, with several computer desks and a large screen at one end.

A black-uniformed officer of detentions walked up, looking Terra over. "Where are you taking this...thing?" he sneered at one of the soldiers. He was high enough in rank to know that Terra was one of Hojo's experiments. As beautiful as she was now, she was liable to turn into some rampaging tentacle beast at the drop of a hat.

"Prisoner transfer, from Vector" the soldier replied.

"I wasnt notified!" the officer said. The next moment, his head was rolling on the floor.

Edgar took off the helmet of his Shinra uniform. "I hate all this sneaking around" he said.

"Oh well done!" terra complained. "We're supposed to be disabling the gun turrets and you go chopping off heads!"

"Hey, never mind - we're in the prison section, we could always let 'em out!" Edgar explained.

"Sure" said Locke, through the speaker of his helmet. "They're probably Returners, Domans and other rebels, anyway... to be in this sorta facility. I'll go and let them out, you two see if you can hack the gun turrets from here!"

Locke went running down a corridor leading away from the room. Edgar was looking around at the computers, until he heard a speaker going "This is control... Is everything OK?"

Edgar picked up a microphone. "Err,everything normal - we just had a, er, weapon malfunction, but everything's fine now... er, we're all fine... how are you?"

"What? who is this?" the voice on the other end asked. Edgar replied by shooting the console.

"Locke! We're gonna have company!" he shouted down the corridor.

"OK OK... all these damn cells are empty!" Locke shouted back. Then he came across one that was occupied, by a woman with long blonde hair. She was wearing a green swimsuit, similar to Terra's, and looked very strong. Locke opened the door and walked in.

She looked up at him "Time for my execution yet?" she asked him angrily.

"Uh? oh, right" locke said, remembering his uniform. He pulled off the helmet "My name's Locke Cole, from the returners... I wanna rescue you!" he said.

The woman stood up. With a flex of powerful arms, the ropes binding her fell away. "Well why didn't ya say?" she asked, suddenley cheerful. "I was gonna escape on my own anyway!"

"Uh huh...Whats your name?" Locke asked.

"Celes...just Celes" she said to him, suddenly sounding sad and angry again. Before anything further could be said, there was the sound of an explosion from the prison control room. Edgar and Terra ran past, hiding themselves behind a pillar on the opposite side of the corridor.

"We're in trouble" Edgar shouted, as bullets started to fly down the corridor, sparking off steel pillars and chipping off pieces of stone.

*     *     *

Terra managed to shoot one soldier as he took cover behind a computer terminal, but was forced to dodge back from a hail of return fire. Locke was trying to hit a Shinra sergeant commanding a section, but the soldiers were good, and kept down, only popping up to snap-fire.

"They've got too much cover!" Locke shouted out.

Behind him he heard celes say "Damn amateurs! Give me the gun!"

A glance at her powerful build and confident stance told Locke she was probably well-used to fighting, so he handed it over.

Celes took aim at one terminal and fired as soon as an enemy popped up. The bullet caught him in the middle of the helmet, knocking him backwards. She aimed at another enemy who was darting between cover, dropping him halfway.

Edgar watched in surprise, as Celes was defeated most of the enemy with great skill. "My turn now!" she yelled with angry glee, as one over-confident officer in the black uniform of the detentions department was seen readying a grenade. Celes shot to wound, catching him in the shoulder. The man fell back alongside the grenade, which detonated moments later, taking out several other attackers.

Celes looked round and handed Edgar the gun "Here, I'll find a way out" she said, as he tried to hit the enemies, but kept missing.

Celes looked around and saw a large ventilation grate. The bolts were rusty, and she was able to pull the cover right off, revealing a smooth metal tunnel going down at a steep angle. "Down here, quick!" she shouted to the others.

Locke went down first, then Terra, Celes followed and Edgar crossed the corridor, firing a few more shots. He managed to shatter the big screen in the control room, distracting the enemy long enough. He stepped back and slid down the chute,it went down at a slight angle, then suddenly became very steep. He soon caught up to celes, who had a lot more bare skin in contact with the sides.

"Where does this go?" he asked, reasoning that she had more knowledge of the base.

"I dunno, but it's better than dying up there!" was her comforting reply.

Suddenly the returners dropped into another large pipe, full of fast-flowing water. Part of the hydroelectric system! The mighty impetus of the water hurled the four across a small, but deep spillway, and onto the runway the airship was on. "Landed in the right place, at least!" remarked Locke, as alarms started blaring across the base.

Celes watched as Edgar burst from the pipe and hit the runway. Both of them started running for the airship as soldiers started coming out of the buildings to either side and shooting.

Up on the airship, some guy was using a machine gun turret to kill them, but more were trying to surround it. Celes pushed Edgar into the airship and fired some more shots to discourage the attackers, hitting a few of them, before she also jumped in.

*     *     *

Up on the deck, Setzer had left the guns and was getting the airship underway. Edgar had taken over the machine gun turret, blasting away at some gas canisters that he'd seen eariler and couldnt resist blowing up. There came a mighty thud, and a fireball full of flying, burning cylinders which careened around the sky like uncontrolled rockets.

Locke and some blonde woman ran up on deck.

"Err, this is Celes, and..." Locke started to say. bullets sprayed past, he turned to return fire.

"I don't care who she is! I just hope you shut off those gun turrets!" setzer shouted back.

"Er... we might have a little problem..." Terra was saying. Celes giggled.

"what?" asked Terra.

"Budget cuts!" Celes yelled. "Those things havent worked in 5 years!"

Setzer didn't need to hear more. He opened up the engines to full power. "YEE-HAAA!" he screamed as they shot past the inert guns and up into the sky.

*     *     *

Several hours later, they were flying through grey clouds towards Mideel. It was a large, old fashioned town. Near to the seafront there were lots of colourful lights and a large tower with a giant 'drink' logo down its side. Several piers jutted into the sea, covered with arcades and pubs.

Terra was stood at the front of the airship,wearing a jacket cause of the cold weather, looking out over the town.

"Wow...what a shit hole" she murmured.

"it aint that bad, you know!" Edgar said from behind her. "The Returner base is good here. Very large, but well hidden" he continued, standing beside her.

"Won't everybody see this airship landing though?" she asked.

"Don't worry" he said. "Nobody here likes shinra, after they closed all the independent bars, and only allowed their approved entertainment places to stay open. You could say the whole town is a returner base, though only some people know the location of the actual place"

"And here it is!" Terra said, as they landed in a yard behind a shop, which had opened up to reveal a large underground hangar. the airship set down inside the giant room as the roof closed up.

A old-looking man with long hair and a wild, unkept beard was walking across the hangar towards them.

"Hi. I'm Banon" he said to Terra. "You must be new - you could call me the leader of the Returners, but we dont really have any command structure. I have already heard about your exploits with the vector reactor."

"Uhh, yes" Terra said. "I really need a rest!"

"OK", he replied. "Edgar, you've been in the hotel before huh? Take her to it."

"Right" Edgar said, "come on, you two" he called out, gesturing to Terra and Celes. "Oh,setzer too."

"Naah, show me later! I'm gonna hit the casinos!" Setzer said back.

"OK, come on" Edgar said, as Setzer left.

*     *     *

The next day, news of the shootings at the shinra base had died down, and being in Mideel they didnt get any Shinra attention. Terra was starting to relax at last, and was thinking about all the stuff that had happened, and the missing years in her life.

"I know the Shinra have programmed me with all this stuff about their military vheicles and knowledge of how to use weapons" she was thinking to herself. "But using materia.... feels different. Like I'm meant to do it. and I still feel like only half a person. It must be all the missing years of my life. I hope I'm not going insane!"

Celes and Edgar where in the next room, watching some anime film. "Hey celes... I've been meaning to ask you..." Edgar started.

"Yeees" she looked at him, as if ready to fight or something.

"back in the castle... how did you manage to hit those soldiers?"

"What?" Edgar gasped, suddenly worried that they had bought a spy into the base.

"Well, I joined the army at 17, as a cook, until one day I saved an officer's life in a battle. He paid more attention to me after that, and discovered I was good at planning and tactics. I got promoted up the ranks pretty rapidly during the Nibelhein Mountains campaign. But being high up also let me see how corrupt Shinra are. When the Doman war started, I tried to defect but was caught. Now I just wanna make up for all the suffering I've caused"

"Uh huh" Edgar mumbled, wondering how joining another war was gonna help with that.

"...At least I'm on the right side this time" celes added.

*     *     *

Terra, Edgar, Locke and Celes walked into a large meeting room. Banon was standing next to a giant screen, with a CG sequence playing. He was telling a group of Returner pilots about an important target to be bombed. It was the castle they had rescued Celes from.

"..Castle Hopenstien is a large base built into this mountain here. The main target is this twin rocket launching gantry. Shinra are building some new high explosive and chemical weapon. We can hit it by flying down this canyon here. Celes here is also able to pilot a plane, so she will help us with the attack."

A few people looked curiously around at her. Some of them knew she was a Shinra general who had defected. They wondered if she could really be trusted. Celes felt herself going red under the stares.

"Good luck pilots!" Banon said, as they began heading to their planes.

*     *     *

In one of several large, disguised hangars, Celes got into a plane as Locke shouted out "good luck!" and walked into side room.

She went through the pre-flight checks, running down the information screens and not noticing anything out of the ordinary. Them she began to run up the jet engine, checking the fuelling and temperatures. Soon she was in the big wing of returner planes screaming over the sea towards the target.

"Three flight - check in" the leader said, getting several replies.

"Red 5" celes said, as her turn came up.

"We have 150 miles to go, we should have an endurance of about 25 minutes over the target" the leader continued, as land appeared on the horizon. They shot over a deserted beach, with crashing surf, and flew towards a distant mountain range.

*     *     *

Terra walked over to Setzer in a hangar bay, he was loading some stuff into the airship.

"So... You won your money and you're just leaving, huh?" she asked him.

He didn't even look around "uh huh".

Terra walked in front of him, so he couldn't put the next box in.

"Why dont you join us? These people could use a pilot like you!"

"Ferget it" he started. "I hate the Shinra and everything, but opposing them is suicide. And yer anarchism or whatever won't work!"

"Your loss" Terra said, walking away.

*     *     *

Celes broke formation, as the planes avoided missiles and laser beams coming up from gun turrets around the huge mountain base. "Hey, looks like there was suddenly the budget to fix them!" she thought to herself, as flickering tracers came dangerously close, before she expertly banked away.

"Three flight! Take out that north tower" the leader said. Five planes shot down towards an ugly square tower sticking out of the jagged landscape. Several laser beams and tracers where shooting out of it. One plane was hit and exploded in the air, blazing debris skittered across the rocky landscape. The rest fired off missiles, and the tower crumbled in on itself.

Three planes had started their run down the jagged canyon towards the target. One was hit by fire from turrets mounted on top of the hydroelectric dam's intakes, it rolled to one side and slammed into the canyon wall, shredded debris tumbling into the grassy valley below. The other two shot over the dam, across the lake and down the canyon towards their target.

"Enemy fighters approaching!" one pilot shouted. Celes turned round to see about 20 Shinra planes approaching in formation.

"My tag" she said, pushing in the afterburners and screaming directly at the formation. She got two lock-on tones and fired twice, before flashing right through the middle of the surprised enemy sqaudron. Even over the sound of the engines, she heard the crump of two explosions as her missiles, left behind by the screaming jet, found targets.

Celes pulled up and over the enemy planes, who had broken formation, now fighting the main returner group. She noticed a Returner plane being chased away by a shinra fighter. The enemy pilot fired his guns, causing a long line of bullet holes across the side.

"I cant shake this guy!" the pilot shouted over the radio.

Celes didn't respond, in case the enemy pilot was listening in, she just aimed at him and fired. The Shinra pilot fired too, but Celes' shot hit home, the blast knocking the pair of Shinra missiles off course.

"Thanks fer that!" said the-now saved pilot.

"We need to make another trench run!" said the leader.

"I'm on it" Celes said back, the other pilot followed and a third joined in. They flew down into the valley as tracers streaked up at them from the dam.

"I've got the left turret!" said Celes, twitching her plane to the left and putting the hastily-depressing gun perfectly in her sights. She fired an air-ground missile, and the turret was knocked up in the air by the blast.

"I've got the right" said the other pilot, blasting the turret nanoseconds later.

"This is control" said Banon's voice over the radio. "There's another fighter coming in... this one's different!"

Celes started to feel something in her head - something she had only felt once before. Somebody was reaching out with a manipulate spell. It took all her magical defenses to resist it.

"It's Kefka" she murmered to nobody in paticular

"Wha-yaaaagh" said another pilot, as Kefka blew him out of the air.

Celes looked back and saw Kefka use his machine-guns on the other plane with her "Pull out! You can't help now!" she said to him, and watched the plane lift up and away.

She looked ahead at the fast-approaching launch gantry. She was the last plane left in the canyon, Kefka would be aiming for her... if she could just make it there, she'd at least strike one blow against Shinra...

A loud explosion echoed down the valley. Celes looked back and saw a huge shape coming out of the sun. She thought she had died, then heard Setzer's voice on the radio.

"YAHOOO!" Setzer yelled, as automated turrets on his airship sprayed indiscriminate fire at the Shinra planes.

Kefka's other wingman was distracted, smashed into his plane and then hit the canyon wall and exploded. Kefka's plane went spinning up and out of sight.

"Its all clear celes!" Setzer told her.

"Let's do this!" she said back, aiming carefully for the two giant missiles directly ahead. The lock-on tone sounded and she fired, pulling over the the launch gantry was built into.

The air-ground missiles detonated huge stores of rocket fuel in and around the launch pads. The force of the mighty blast knocked Celes' plane around, but it stayed in the air. The Shinra pilots, who were not paid enough anyway, saw the base they were defending was now in ruins, and fled.

"Lets get back to base" Celes grinned, looking down at the huge blazing fire.

*     *     *

Back at the base, the pilots where met with a cheering crowd as they got out of the planes. Locke ran up and hugged Celes, shouting "we did it!"

Terra was saying something to Setzer at the other side of the room, and Edgar was talking to a pilot about Kefka being dead.

Celes thought about this... she could still feel a distant residue of Shinra's mind-linking magic. Kefka was still alive...

*     *     *

Kefka looked across the bleak desert landscape. His plane had crashed near a road, and a car was approaching. He got a gun out... they WERE going to pick him up!

Luckily, the car stopped. The guy inside shouted out "Want a lift?", looking suspiciously at kefkas cybernetic augmentations.

"OK" he said back, getting in.

The Returners would pay for destroying his base...

==============

Well-thats all for now-and yes i know i doesnt explain what happened to relm-but the comic strip does (it is at the time of writing anyway)-however for continuity i'll probably have to write 'insanity 2'-so look out for it!

Remember that the ongoing adventures are availible at my site

Just go back lawl

and a doom .wad of them is in development here

www.angelfire.com/punk2/doomwadz

if you have any death threats,flames or hate mail (or even positive stuff!)-send it to

Like I ever check that any more.